So, I have now traveled thousands of miles over land and sea, by planes, trains, and rickshaws, bought a new wardrobe, completely changed my diet, and been so befriended by a Bangladeshi army doctor that she asked me to call her so we could “gossip.” However, the issue remains: I am still me. I don’t know if anyone else has ever suffered from the fantasy that changing your local will magically transform you as a person, but I definitely have. The word for foreigner here is bedeshii. I am so bedeshii. When I walk down the street (no joke) almost everyone stops and stares at me.
One of the biggest delusions I had was concerning language. The language spoken in Bangladesh is Bangla (in English sometimes people refer to it as Bengali which makes no sense to me since Bangla is just as easy to pronounce). It is derived from Sanskrit, and the closest spoken language to it is Hindi. Bangla just happens to be very different from English (shocking right?), yet somehow I came to believe that if I just moved here – where everyone speaks Bangla – it would come naturally. This was a very miscalculated assumption. Far from coming naturally I have become mute here. The other day I was in my room reflecting on my predicament when Miracle Worker (a play I was in about Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan) rushed into my mind.
Mrs. Keller: Miss Annie, what will you teach Helen first?
Annie: First, last, and in between, language.
Annie goes on to describe the importance of language, how it could be Helen’s eyes and ears. I definitely identify. I am completely handicapped currently. I find myself longing for an Annie Sullivan to fight me till I learn the words. But, alas, it seems I will have to fight myself.
The truth is, this place is incredibly interesting and I want so badly to truly be a part of it. There are people everywhere ready to talk to me – ready to teach me about this new world I’ve dropped into. Everyone who goes to school here learns a little bit of English, so on my daily 5 minute walk to the research office I hear at least 10 “hellos” and “how are yous?” as I walk, usually from school children riding by who giggle when I turn and look at them. We also have three household staff in the house with me everyday, but the most I have been able to say is the Bangla words for “yes” and “no.” Mostly I smile a lot. It’s ridiculous.
Well, thanks for reading my blog! I will keep you updated on my language process (if you have any tips on learning, please send them my way), and in my next entry maybe I’ll remember to actually talk about what life is like here.
Khuda hafiz! ("Goodbye" in Bangla, I actually remembered that!)
Hey, it's Kelly C :) I've added you to my google reader, so I look forward to reading more of your thoughts while you are living in Bangladesh!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how frustrating the language barrier is for you right now. I know it's true of all of us, but it seems especially true of you as an actress, aspiring therapist, and somewhat of a scholar that language is such an essential tool for you to connect to others and world around you.
As you struggle through learning the language, I encourage you to use this as opportunity to hone your nonverbal skills - which will be of great use to you as a therapist! I challenge you to try to find unique ways to connect to with your household staff and the children who say hi to you on the street, to connect with them without words, using your facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, and observations. I think that you'll find that while language is the most common form of human connection and closeness, that there are other ways of connecting with others which can also be satisfying and enriching.
I'm so proud of you and the adventure you're having. Thanks for keeping a blog so that we can journey along with you, and thanks for making it so authentic. It already feels like the kind of travel log I would hope for/expect from you. I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDelete-Dee
I must say, I'm very disappointed in the blog title. It had so much potential. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI'm teaching Amy some German every day. I'd love to help you out in a similar manner, but alas, I know slightly less Bangla than you do---which is to say, I don't know how to say yes or no in Bangla. If you want, though, I'll learn it so I can teach you. I might even get Ron to go in with me on this. It'll be awesome.
P.S. the word verification I had to type in in order to let me post was exvaz, which would single-handedly win me a game of Scrabble.
I'm so excited for you! Until the culture shock sets in. Then, I'm completely sympathetic to your situation...
ReplyDeleteBut, seriously, I'm really envious. I can't wait til I graduate next year and can go off on my own overseas adventure.
So, what are the Bangla words for "yes" and "no"?
To Kelly:
ReplyDeleteFirst off, how do I add you to my "google reader??" I'm new to this blog thing.
Second: It is so good to hear from you! Your comment was one of the most encouraging things I have heard about the language issue. Thank you dear friend. Therapists understand each other so well... or I suppose I should say "counselors" to you ;-) Silly psychology.
Dee: Thanks you rock friend. Actually as I was writing that post I was thinking about how much more awesome it would sound if you had written. Perhaps I should send you the posts before I put them up and let you edit... or be my ghost writer!
ReplyDeleteOk - but I'm really glad you like it.
Josh:
ReplyDeleteYes, please learn Bangla and then teach it to me.
Thank you.
Sara:
ReplyDeleteWell, the alphabet is different here of course, but the way "yes" and "no" sound with English letters is "ji" and "nah."
Cutlure shock has begun, so I would appreciat the flow of sympathy.
Sara:
ReplyDeleteWell, the alphabet is different here of course, but the way "yes" and "no" sound with English letters is "ji" and "nah."
Cutlure shock has begun, so I would appreciat the flow of sympathy.
I have about a million things I'd like to respond to from reading your blog/ reading your facebook message (which I will do in time, i promise), but just for this moment that I have, I wanted to say that I REALLY like your blog. well done, my friend. I don't have much to compare it to because I don't read blogs... ever, actually, but then of course I've never had a best friend in Bangladesh write one, so here i go reading a blog;) However, I am very grateful to see pictures of you. You still look like you... which I suppose I was under the same impression that you were, being that you would become a different person if you moved across the world... I am glad to see this is not the case. you are still EMILY. i love you, my dear. I'll write more when I can and I cannot wait to hear more and more from you, as always.
ReplyDeleteEmily, one of the best things for learning a new language is to find a conversation partner who will talk to you in Bangla.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that you've landed safely and are working through the culture shock. From what I know about you, you'll do just fine. It sounds like this will be a good role for you.
Do you have a gmail account? If so, go to reader.google.com, and you can add blogs and new sites and such. You can return to the reader.google.com site and it will tell you when there are updates on people's blogs. It seems that blogger now has a similiar feature itself, where you can "follow" blogs and I just saw that you are one of my new followers! Hurray!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I could be encouragement for you :) This is probably one of my favorite things about blogging - leaving comments to my friends that I hope will enrich and encourage them in someone, and reading thoughtful comments that others have given me. I've received a lot of encouragement from my blog community, so I hope that this can be a rewarding experience for you as well! Looking at the comments that people have given and your replies, I'm guessing that it already it :)
How is the language issue going? Are you learning more Bangla? How is nonverbal communication? I second hlc97a's comment - a language partner sounds like a great idea!
And you can call me a therapist I suppose :) We call ourselves counselors, but we use the term counseling and psychotherapy interchangeably, and you can't call me a psychologist yet, so just call me what you like!